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(The British don’t get all the bad sex: this has always been a pretty international list.) Or Wilbur Smith’s Desert God, in a passage that even Mills & Boon would have regarded as too tame: “Our legs and our arms were entwined, and our breath was mingling. Gradually our two hearts became a single organ that we shared.” Not a phallus in sight — though that is also explained by Smith’s protagonist being a eunuch.How times have changed since the memorable previous years of machismo such as 2005 when Giles Coren won for his description of frenzied coitus, concluding with the man firing off three stripes onto his lover’s belly “like Zorro”.Exhibit 1 from the shortlist of this year’s Bad Sex in Fiction awards: “He steps into her, furious.And when it hits her, it slams her hard and fast, as life once had.” Not hard and fast enough?

And as a human being, you are naturally curious, a little bit self-conscious, and maybe even competitive about sex.

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On today's episode Lo, Greta, & Jilly answer listeners questions that were sent into the show.

we don't even conversate, we don't even act no more we used to go out all day, but our kids are the number one chore where did the loving go, we really need to ..far, yeah, eh i swear this feels like a game and i ...

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